I Trust Myself

Learning to trust is one of life's lessons that can only come when I am ready.   I keep a piece of paper taped to my computer at home that says "Trust that all is well!  Because it is!"  And even though I read it every day, and I might say that I believe it, putting that trust into action is harder than I want it to be sometimes.

Trusting that all is well means trusting that the decisions and choices I make are the right ones for me.   Always!

Trusting that all is well means that there is nothing to worry about - because all is well.  Always!

Trusting means knowing a peace and calm that may not always be evident.

Trusting carries the responsibility of letting go - which can be hard to do.

But when I trust myself, I feel the power that is me.  I feel the peace and calm that is real, and I feel the free flow as life guides me where I am suppose to go.

With arms wide open and face to the sun I affirm - All is Well -  I Trust Myself.

Life is Good!

Still Counting The Ways

This past week Jim and I celebrated our 40th anniversary.  I think we were both surprised at the calmness surrounding such a "big" number.  We spent the day hiking then pulled into a camp site to grill steaks and potatoes and open a bottle of champagne.  Later we shared a piece of chocolate mouse cake accompanied by a second bottle of champagne and talked about our life together.

The years and effort that go into a relationship of this length are more than we can comprehend standing at this end.  We both agree that we love each other more now than we even knew was possible back then.  And we understand now that we will love each other more tomorrow, more next week, more next month and next year.

We realize now that as we create memories together, as we cultivate this relationship with time spent together, we grow our love for each other.  And growing love is just another way of counting all the ways we love.  And counting the ways we love just gets better and better!

Life Is Good Here!

21 Breaths

Last year I was privileged to attend a talk by His Holiness, The Dali Lama.  During the lunch break, I was honored to be personally introduced to him and shake his hand and pose with Jenn, Liz and Rudy for a picture.  I have this picture framed in my home, but am often surprised when I notice it again.  It was such an amazing day!  But often our amazing days slip away into weeks, months, years, and eventually a life time, and the amazing part becomes hazy, forgettable, or buried somewhere in the crevices of our lives.

Before his public talk began on that Monday morning, I had purchased a wooden bead bracelet hand made and sold by the Tibetan Monks.  I was intrigued with the simple beauty of it, but primarily purchased it as a reminder so that this day would not become too forgettable.

During the Dali Lama's talk he recommended that we use beads to count our breaths as we meditate.  The goal:  21 breaths without the mind wondering.   And when/if it wonders, come back gently and begin with one again.

I wear this bracelet often as a gentle reminder and I always count my breaths each day as I meditate.  And even though I have not made it to 21 without other thoughts coming to mind, I now look forward to the thoughts that do come.

With 21 breaths I find the thoughts that affirm again and again that life is good.  I find thoughts of love, of inspiration and of creativity.  I find thoughts of beauty in nature, in family and in laughter.  I find thoughts of peace and calm, even when the outside doesn't look that way.  I find thoughts of health and vitality and I feel eager to move, to walk and to hike.  And always, I find thoughts of great expectations for all the good that is mine.

Although my mind continues to conjure these thoughts, and doesn't care to stay focused on breathing for the duration, I will enjoy each day as I count, over and over,  21 Breaths.

Life is Always Good!

Home

I returned home last Wednesday from my stay with my mother-in-law ready for the comforts of Home!  I was so surprised when I opened the door and saw my house.  Although I had only been gone for a few weeks, I had "forgotten" how beautiful my house is and how beautiful it feels to my soul.

I don't think that I had really forgotten, however, coming home really caught me by surprise this time and I have savored this feeling for the past week.

I savored walking room to room - remembering.  I savored the beauty and smell of roses Jim brought to me. I savored an afternoon of coffee with my neighbor.  I savored an evening spent with my youngest grandson and a morning spent with my daughter Liz and her husband Thad.  I savored a glass of delicious red wine my first evening home and cooking in my own kitchen.  I savored  quiet mornings of meditation in my favorite chair and evenings cuddled next to Jim on the sofa.  I savored unpacking my clothes and arranging them in my house, my space.  I savored a trip to my Starbucks for a favorite morning coffee and a shopping trip to Louisville for fun.    

Here I am a week later, feeling completely at home, but hoping to keep alive that wonderful feeling of at last being Home!

Life is Good At Home!

Old Spice

I have spent the past few weeks living with my mother in law, Sarah, as she gathers her strength to live independently.  Sarah recently turned 90 and is determined to live on her own.

One day she asked me to check the "other" medicine cabinet for an item she was looking for.  The "other" medicine cabinet is in the "other" bathroom which has always been identified as my father in law, Roy's bathroom.   Roy passed almost 12 years ago after celebrating 60 years of marriage together.  I have rarely been in that room and certainly not looked in the medicine cabinet.

As I slowly pushed the mirrored door to one side I was surprised and touched to see a bottle of Old Spice after shave, a small green bottle of Brut, his old tooth brush and more.  As I looked at these items stacked neatly on the double shelves my heart ached for the love that these two people shared.
Knowing that there is always so much tenderness, so many conversations, so much loving  that goes on in the privacy of marriage that is never shared with outsiders.

As I looked at the items kept in this cabinet for all these years I could only imagine the tenderness that Sarah must feel when she sees them.  I wonder if she opens the bottle occasionally just to be reminded of the smell and the closeness of the man she loved.  The man she shared her life with while raising four children.  The man she hoped to grow old with, but who left us all too soon.

I imagined that on those long lonely nights that maybe she puts a drop of old spice on the pillow next to hers, just to imagine once again the company of her husband.  Or maybe she looks at these bottles as proof that he did exist, he was here, he did love her.

I know that Sarah and Roy loved each other, but as I opened that medicine cabinet, I saw a tenderness I had missed previously.  I saw a bond that has not been broken by death.  I saw a love that will last for eternity.  I saw all of this in a bottle of Old Spice!

Life is Good!  Love is Good!

Good Night My Love

I am closing the day gently with thoughts of you.  Good night my love!

Life is Good With Anticipation!

So Much More

Valentines Day is always a fun time of year - cold February warmed by love.  However, I did not get to spend this love day with Jim so I was delighted when I received this card in the mail.  

To me Valentines has always been a reminder to express what is in our hearts.   I look at the card, signed with love, and know that it is so much more than a Hallmark poem.  It is so much more than the $3.99 price tag.  And it is so much more than a passing thought.

This card was sent to me for all the love, for all the beauty, and all the life we have shared. It was sent to assure me that there is more ahead of us.  More love, more beauty and more life to come.  So much more!

Life is Good With My Forever Valentine!

This One Is For Me

Sometimes I forget that "helping" someone is really an avenue for my continued growth.  When I think that I am going to teach, or show, or improve their space, I find that, fortunately,  it is I who is being taught.  Lights are going off so that I am shown something new, and it is my space, my life that improves.

Today I learned that Joy is not "fixing" anything or anyone else, but allowing myself to expand and appreciate all the gifts I am being given.  The gifts are abundant if I will accept them and realize again, - Yes, this one is for me!

Life is Good Now!

Counting The Ways

I began a notebook a few years ago called My Book of Positive Aspects.  I have written about this book before, but as I packed it today for my trip north, I began to think of the things I have written over the years.  Even though I do not write in it every day, I never leave home without it.

Listed in this notebook are the things I love about the people in my life, especially my husband. I began this book as an experiment to look for the positive aspects, thereby focusing on the good.  I have been amazed at what a list will do for your attitude.

When I list all the things I love about Jim, I feel so much joy in our relationship.  As I appreciate even the smallest detail in writing, I naturally express that appreciation in my words and actions.  I have become move loving, and our marriage has become a haven for both of us.

I love the poem that begins "How do I love thee, let me count the ways."  I have counted for years and I have pages and pages of lists.  Today, I still find myself counting more things to love about this man who loves me back with all his heart"  

Life is Always Good With Love!

Simple Pleasure

I purchased a Cuisinart Ice Cream maker about 3 years ago but I have only made chocolate ice cream two times. It has mostly sat boxed on a shelf in storage.  I often look at my recipe booklet dreaming of home made ice cream but not committing to making it happen.

Recently I have been considering strawberry ice cream, which is one of my favorites.  So when my grandson, Tucker, came to spend the night yesterday I decided (finally) that it was time to do it!

He helped me measure sugar, cream, vanilla and more.  We chopped fresh strawberries in the food processor and then set the mixture in the fridge to chill.  As we poured the pink liquid into the ice cream mixer later that evening we all were grinning with anticipation.  However, we agreed to put the ice cream in the freezer for 5 minutes before we served it.

As expected, it was delicious!  I was reminded again that some of the most important things in my life are really so simple.  Chopping strawberries and sharing a dessert with people I love.  Creating something that makes everyone smile.  And Tucker telling me that this ice cream really is good enough to buy at a store.   Truly the simple pleasures of Life!

Life is Always Good!

Transformer Forever

Last Saturday I finally had the opportunity to paint my office.  It was the last room in the house to paint and I had deliberately put it off knowing that it would/could wait.

Actually, I purchased the paint months ago intending it for my family room and kitchen.  As I painted that room back in September, I could just "feel" that it was not the right color.  This doesn't happen very often, but occasionally I have to re-paint. I ended up painting the family room and kitchen a beautiful light green - and it FEELS so right!

However, I still had one and a half gallons of "Strawberry Malt" left over and only one little room to paint.  I added a gallon of white to the Malt and wah lah!  I created a beautiful concoction  that seemed perfect for my office.  I spent Friday prepping the walls and painting the ceiling and by Saturday morning I was ready with my new color.

I was unprepared for the feeling that came over me as I painted these walls.  I was flooded with a feeling of newness, an excitement for the change I was creating, and an eager anticipation of good. Long after I finished painting, I kept coming back into my office to turn on the light and marvel at the transformation.

That really is is what painting is all about, transforming something into beauty, even if the beauty is only in my eyes.  Which made me think of my own transformation.

My own transformation has not been as easy as a coat of paint, but my changes are none the less real.   Learning to Think differently because I choose to.  Learning to React differently because I can.  Learning to be more Loving because it feels better.  Learning to Allow, to Flow, and to Accept.  Learning to Meditate because it is important to me.  Voraciously Reading to absorb new concepts and letting go of old habits because it's time.

I hope my own transformation has brought to the surface a beauty that can be seen and heard,  but especially felt by those who know me.  And I hope that I will continue as a transformer forever!

Life is Forever Good!