Learning to Breathe

I have been breathing most of my life.  At least I assume I have.  There are years, in the beginning, that I do not recall, yet somehow I must have been breathing then too.  I suppose that just because I don't remember breathing doesn't mean I wasn't.

In my desire to learn to meditate, I now pay attention to my breathing, trying to teach myself to breathe deeply.  Sometimes it feels very uncomfortable to breathe deeply and I am not sure that the discomfort is all physical.  I have spent the past 2 and a half years learning to meditate, quite the mind, and breathe.  So far the sitting still is easy, quieting the mind is coming more naturally, yet the breathing eludes me many times.  Not that I stop breathing - I never do - I just don't allow my whole body to fill with the delicious oxygen that my body craves.  Surely it is a craving for I have been doing it for so long.

This weekend while we were at the top of Mount Mitchell I could see my breath when I breathed out.  Light puffs quickly dissipating before my next breath out.  Carried away by the wind, or maybe floating invisibly in front of me waiting for that slight inhale.   Sometimes I hear myself breathing as I take those last stairs up to my 3rd floor sanctuary or as I walk the dark neighborhood early in the morning.  Occasionally I feel my breathing as my body tries to pull in the oxygen needed as I hurry through my day.

Breathing, I know, is natural to me.  It comes without my conscious effort.  But, still I wonder what will happen if I learn to breathe consciously.  How will it feel to be aware of my breathing?  How will it feel to Learn to Breathe?

Here's to the Good Life!